I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
