I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
