Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
