Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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