i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
