after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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