turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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