when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
