do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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