youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
