Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't deserve a penis
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
