Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
