I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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