i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
