Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
