And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
