And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
