You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
