idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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