They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
