So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You pole danced in your parka.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
