so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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