i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
