Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
