i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
