just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
