I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
