Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
