she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
