It was confusing and full of hummus
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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