this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
vagina is talking i cant
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
