Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
