Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
