if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
