Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
