with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's official drugs can't kill me
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
