what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
