How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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