Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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