honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
someone owes me an orgasm
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
