nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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