They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
