i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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