Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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