we have officially mastered the walk of shame
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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