I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
