I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
you're hired as official boob wrangler
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
