you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
