oh god the rape fog is back!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
