That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
