sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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