He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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