nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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